If you have just been on a 10 hour flight after a 15 day tour that didn’t go quite as planned, then having someone sit next to you on a 40 minute bus ride may not be at the top of your list to tick off when you get home.
Here are some tips on how to make that small space of freedom be as unappealing to others as possible:
Reading Material: Throw away that book or magazine – the aim is to annoy people, not make them believe that you are in your own little world and don’t care what happens outside it!
Headphones: These are not for your own comfort, but rather for the displeasure of others. Ensure that every syllable can be heard beyond your ear drums and you are guaranteed about a square metre of space to yourself.
Talking on the Phone: Works especially well when you are loud and talking like a 15 year old about the party you went to last night.
Typing on the Phone: iPhones have that notorious click that users seem to ignore when writing their lengthy messages, or perhaps they are just proving the point that I am making here.
Middle of the Bus: Sitting in the middle, just past the back doors, will allow you to avoid the cool cats that head straight for the back of the bus as well as not have to give up your seat for the more fragile members of our community.
Take up Space: Sit a little more in the middle of the seat so that the oncoming passengers try to remember last night’s dinner feast and think “better not”. Or if the flight was really turbulent then sit on the aisle side of the seat; beware of evil glares!
Shopping: If you’re carrying stuff, use it. In a really crowded bus you will be asked to move it, but at least you won’t be the first to be invaded.
Eye Contact: Avoiding eye contact is the worst mistake that you can make. Make sure that you look at every single person getting on the bus, so that they go for the book reader rather than the starer.
Food: People hate sitting next to those that are eating smelly junk food, so if you feel like breaking the ‘no food or drink on the bus rule’, then go for it – people will flee!
Clothes: If you are just starting out in scaring people off or are a little shy, then this is an easy one; whilst consumes are encouraged, just a general crazy statement piece or a look from the 90’s is likely to keep other travellers away.
Bonus: I saw a lady the other day who had a phone that flashed (and I mean like a photo flash), each time she received a text message. If I could, I would have moved … far, far away.